mintly | [hadriel - ic inbox]

[They have shelter, and that's the important thing amid all the chaos. Noah's bed is so soft he feels he's fallen halfway through the mattress as he tosses and turns on it.

Shotgun is gone. That's fine, she would have been scared of the bears, and Noah's not sure there's food for her here. That strange place they were was technically her home, so she's probably better off there. Rook isn't here either, surely he'll come looking to see where the Aglionby boys have gone and found their house empty by now and taken Shotgun under his wing to protect her along with the other two cats that belong to Poison.

It's fine.

Noah's happy his friends from home are here. If he could only have three people in the world with him obviously it would be Gansey, Adam and Ronan. Without a doubt.

But god, he had forgotten what it was like to feel lonely, and yet even with the other boys here he feels it. The bed is too big for him and it just makes him feel so alone.

Pushing the blankets off, Noah quietly makes his way out the door to the still unfamiliar hallway. He tells himself, he'll just go back to bed if Gansey's door isn't open, but it is. It's been almost two hours since they've called it a night, it's possible the insomniac COULD be getting some sleep, so Noah is very quiet when he gently pushes the door open enough to slip inside. The ambient light through the curtains gives enough visibility to see by in the unfamiliar room. If Gansey's asleep, that's fine, he'll just curl up next to Gansey and maybe find a desire to sleep too. Either way he's climbing into Gansey's bed without waiting for an invitation.

They've established enough of a precedent for this at this point it feels like they both have a standing invitation for each other, anyway.]

[gansey's not sleeping. he's just lying there curled up and staring out the window at the strange lighting. at least the bed is comfortable enough that he could sleep, except of course he can't. half the time when he closes his eyes he remembers the way it had felt when the line had tried to grab him and adam, the feeling of unreality as it tore them from the box and into...wherever they were.

it was his fault. not that the island had been great by any means, and it's sort of a relief to be away from that ley line, but a mysterious alien cave filled with ruins and some animals that want to eat them doesn't rank much higher up on the scale of suck.

so when noah climbs into his bed, gansey doesn't say anything, just rolls over and pulls the other boy into his arms. as usual, he's shirtless and in his underwear, although with their current lack of soap, he smells more strongly of gansey than of mint.he kisses noah's hair, breathing deeply.]

Hey.

[Noah doesn't mind the embrace, the smell of Gansey, all of it is perfectly good. He nuzzles in to Gansey's welcoming arms, his own embracing the other boy in turn.]

I didn't know if you were awake.

[But the relief in his voice makes it clear that he was hoping for it.]

Of course I'm awake.

[he makes it sound fond an welcoming instead of kind of terrible, his breath rumbling out of his chest in a contented purr as noah snuggles into him.]

You couldn't sleep either?

No. I kept thinking about...

[About the people left behind. About what was happening right before they ended up here. He'd promise Gansey to tell him what had been going on in his head once it was over.

He doesn't really want to, but he supposes he has to. Might as well get it over with, in the sort of dim lighting that passes as darkness.]

...back where we were before, what the ley line was making me hear... it was Whelk. I'd hear his voice or smell this... this awful body spray he used to use. I didn't really see him, it was just... there, always at the edges.

Oh, love.

[gansey holds noah tighter. now he understands why he wasn't told. because noah never seemed scared, really. conflicted, maybe, or something else. one's best friend/murderer would do that to a person.]

You miss him, even after everything?

Yeah.

[He doesn't think he'll ever stop, really. Because understanding someone needed to die isn't really the same as wanting them to die, doesn't disqualify wishing things were different.]

It wasn't just that though, it kept feeling like ... like you know when you're dreaming, and you're right on the cusp of waking up? I kept feeling that when I was awake and ... I don't know. I guess I kept feeling like maybe any minute I was going to wake up back in the dorms.

He was your best friend.

[it's an allowance. gansey's not really ready to forgive whelk for the whole murder thing, not when he saw noah's decomposing body, the way his skull was smashed, how that's what became of this vital boy in his arms. even though it's the only reason he has noah now, he's not willing to forgive. he's also not willing to forgive whelk pointing a gun at his head, his threats to kill adam...he's just not prepared to forgive any of it. but still, he was noah's best friend, once.]

Like we were all the dream? That's...difficult. More difficult, maybe.

[gansey had just hallucinated the sound of hornets, the low rumble of a familiar voice sometimes when he was just on the cusp of waking, of ronan's smile before he found his father splayed in the driveway, of noah's ruined skull beneath his face. things he all knew were false and gone. it would be so much harder, imagining something that noah might desperately want to be true.

he kisses noah's temple.]

It's over now. Not that this is ideal, but that part is over.

[he says it like he knows that might not be an entirely good thing, in noah's opinion.]

[Noah's not sure if he WOULD want it all to be a dream, actually. Would it be great to not be dead anymore, to have a second chance at a real life? Sure.

But in that life he'd never meet his friends who were so dear to him now. In that life Gansey would die at ten from hornet stings and there would be no miracle to save him.

Noah doesn't want THAT life. Not at all.

He sighs softly at the kiss, nuzzling in more. This is fine, this is comfortable.]

I'd rather know when I'm asleep and when I'm awake.

[gansey rubs a hand up and down noah's back, keeping him close.]

We seem to be able to do that, at least. 'Awake' is much more prevalent than 'asleep', but we probably shouldn't complain about that at the moment.

Are you sleepy?

[Noah remembers another conversation, was it in his bed or Gansey's? When Gansey kissed him and said someday he'd get Noah when he wasn't tired.

They've had a long couple of days, going from Harborview to here, out of the frying pan and into the fire. The mess with the corrupted ley line, the bears, near starvation, and finally getting food and shelter but for how long?

Nothing is certain now, if it ever was before. Noah's exhausted but wide awake, he wants to remember that at least for now, he is still alive.]

I'm not sleepy.

That so?

[gansey's hand comes down to lift up noah's chin, and he smiles, resting their faces forehead to forehead, his nose bumping noah's before sliding alongside it.]

Is there anything you'd like to do?

[Noah shifts just slightly, rubbing his nose against Gansey's, his breath against Gansey's lips.

Gansey's always so self-assured, even when he's just as hopelessly lost as the rest of them he always has a way of sounding like he knows what he's talking about, like he's perfectly in control. Even in life Noah didn't have that, the best he could manage was 'lost because I want to be lost'.

He'd like to kiss Gansey. He'd like to do more than kiss Gansey. He'd like to find out if there was anything that Gansey would be genuinely lost in, if he was this confidant under every circumstance. He'd like to not waste the time they have because there's no certainties at all - there weren't before either but now falling from one place into another it seems even more fragile an existence. He'd like to feel alive before he dies again.

He'd like to not take advantage of Gansey in the process, though.

If it's just kissing, it's fine. They've kissed before, so it isn't any worse than what they've done before, right?]

Yes.

[Noah's voice is soft and quiet, closing the little bit of space between them to press his lips against Gansey's.]

[gansey would like to do more than kiss noah. he'd like to take him apart, to make him make those lovely noises he'd made once in the shower. he'd like to touch places he's never touched before. but he doesn't want to push noah too hard, and kissing is a very nice place to start.

he makes a pleased sound against noah's mouth, his own parting to nibble gently on noah's lower lip. his hand slides down noah's back to rest at the base of his spine, fingers resting at the top of the curve of his ass and pulling him gently closer.]

[Gansey's always been so careful to stop at his waist, so even just his fingertips brushing lower is ... oddly exciting. Because it's Gansey who wants to kiss him, who wants to touch him.

Noah's hands are gentle on Gansey's back, one reaching up to play with the short fine hairs on the back of his neck.

It isn't bad, they're still clothed after all, and they've been naked together before so it really isn't a big deal at all. Noah opens his mouth when Gansey nibbles at his lip, it's all it takes to open his mouth to a kiss, though before that Noah has to murmur,] ... Your hands can go lower, um, if you want.

[noah's fingers make gansey shiver pleasantly, and he sucks noah's lip before licking shallowly into his mouth. as invited, his hands slip lower, sliding down over noah's ass, warm through the thin fabric of his boxers. he gives the muscle there a gentle squeeze. then he does it again, a little less gently, thumbs stroking up and down right around the dimples in his lower back.]

[Noah presses his tongue against Gansey's, inviting him in deeper. It works well to muffle the needy sound that threatens to escape when Gansey doesn't just bring his hands lower but squeezes, twice, and - this was so much different than he thought, he was entirely wrong but as long as they've got clothes on it's fine, right? It's fine. Nothing Gansey hasn't done before, Noah doesn't want to be responsible for tarnishing his virtue, Adam and Ronan are absolutely going to murder him if they find out...

Even as Noah's trying to focus on keeping his hands gentle, unsure of what to do with them, his leg is sliding against Gansey's and over it to pull them all the closer together and yep he is absolutely thankful for the kiss to muffle the sound that comes with that.

This is dangerous, he needs to stop, he needs to go back to his own room, but Gansey is so warm and so alive and right here wanting Noah too.]

[gansey has no desire to stop. he makes a soft sound of his own and rolls them both so that it's noah whose back is pressed into the mattress, gansey's weight centered on his hips. it means he can't grab noah's ass anymore, but it does free his hands up to slide beneath noah's shirt, to trace up and down his sides as he deepens the kiss.

he could not, in fact, care less about his supposed virtue, as the contents of his boxer-briefs make quite clear.]

[Noah doesn't like taking the lead with anything, he follows, he goes with the flow, and ... god, he does want it, wants Gansey. Wants Gansey's hands on his skin, to know every inch of him by touch and to be known in return and it feels so good to be pressed between Gansey's solid weight and the give of the mattress.

Noah's fingers grab blindly at Gansey's back, nails thankfully too short to leave damming scratch marks without more effort. He lets himself go to it, just for a moment to think of nothing but how good it feels to kiss Gansey, to arch his back and press against him like there'd be no consequences and they could do whatever they wanted.

...except Gansey still deserves so much better than this. Better than Noah, but at least better than a desperate rut to feel alive again.]

Clothes stay on.

[The gasped words come out less like a line and more like a request, much as Noah tries. He wants, god does he want and there's no real hiding that either as his own boxers do little to hide, but there's a line and he knows if he crosses it now he'll hate himself in the morning.]

Whatever you want, love.

[noah's not the only one who needs to feel alive, though, not by any means. noah is so warm and wanting, and he wants gansey, not just any desperate rut.

he catches noah's hands, threading their fingers together and pinning them above noah's head so that neither of them will accidentally mark the other as he rolls his hips against noah's, kissing him deep and hard and full of need.]

[Noah's breath hitches as Gansey links their fingers together, presses Noah's hands against the mattress above his head.

He squeezes Gansey's hands, fingers entwined and any sounds he makes from that (so very many) are lost in Gansey's mouth at the deepening kiss. It's like the one that left him weak in the knees on the train, that had him thinking of pulling Gansey back into the shower. Lines established, hands kept from wandering, Noah lets himself stop thinking.

It's hard to get the proper leverage to grind up like he wants, so Noah hooks a leg around Gansey's, not like Gansey is in any danger of going anywhere but it's such a relief to finally do something about this spark between them.]

[gansey is indeed in no danger of going anywhere at all. he grinds down on noah, giving an encouraging moan when noah's leg hooks around his own. if he was willing to stop kissing the other boy for even a second, he'd tell noah to just wrap around his waist, but not kissing noah right now is out of the question.

he's not in a particular rush anyway, wanting to savor this first time. it feels so good to finally, finally touch noah like this, clothes on or not.]

[That's the good thing about picking up surface thoughts - no need to stop kissing even for a second.

Noah brings his other leg up to hook around Gansey's waist, to pull him closer, he had a few girlfriends do it to him back when he was alive so it isn't difficult to replicate the move. He's getting dizzy and a little light-headed and it feels wonderful to touch Gansey like this instead of just being tortured by not just his own wants but Gansey's, too. His little needy moans are muffled against Gansey's tongue, his lips]

[gansey's hips stutter and he moans softly into noah's mouth as that leg hooks up around his waist like noah read his mind. of course, noah did read his mind, but gansey is too overtaken by relief and hormones and affection.

eventually, the kissing becomes too much, and gansey's vision begins to sparkle at the edges. he leans his head to murmur against noah's ear, fingers squeezing noah's as his weight shifts slightly.]

What would you like, beautiful?

Action - Forward dated to finding houses.

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