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If you're looking for Ronan Lynch, I'll be sure he gets your message, because he can't be bothered with his own phone.
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Oct. 10th, 2015 11:19 amIf you're looking for Ronan Lynch, I'll be sure he gets your message, because he can't be bothered with his own phone.
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[hadriel] goodbye letters
Jan. 14th, 2016 09:54 pm[adam will find them when going through gansey’s things. there’s a notebook on his desk that’s different from his other notebooks. it’s sitting right there, for one thing, a pen beside it. for another, it doesn’t quite sit flush closed. in the front is clearly a journal, each page neatly dated at the top. at the back of it, three pages have been left half in the binding and half folded down. the first of those pages has adam’s name written on it in gansey’s bold, efficient writing, just waiting to be unfolded.]
Adam,
If you are reading this, I suspect that either a) I’ve disappeared, or b) you are a terrible, wretched snoop. If it’s the latter, shame on you! But now that you’ve started reading, you may as well continue.
It’s a few days after Christmas, as I write this, or at least the day we all seemed to think was Christmas. That isn’t what’s important here. There are things you should know, things I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to tell you because we’re just not good at this.
I think I kind of knew. I think I’ve kind of known for a long time, maybe since I heard my name on that tape. Way back then. But I didn’t want to believe it. Who would? I wasn’t ready to believe it. But now, it’s easier. Knowing that you’ll do everything you can to save me, it can be the year I’m fated to die. If anyone can defy fate, it’s you, Adam.
There’s another thing you need to understand, but i can’t say if reading these words will help. You like to say that I don’t know the value of things, and perhaps you’re right. But i do know this: you’re invaluable. You, Adam Parrish, are beyond price, and there is nothing I would trade you for. So try and treat yourself that way sometimes, too. Believe that other people value you, if you can’t value yourself.
Don’t tell Ronan about the gun. Unless you already did, in which case I suppose we all survived.
Excelsior,
-RCG
PS- Give the others their letters too, would you please? Don’t read them.
[the next piece of folded paper has roman’s name on it]
Ronan,
If you’re reading this, I must be gone. Don’t be mad at Adam, he’s just the messenger.
I’m sorry. I would have taken you with me if there was a choice in these things. I would have taken you all with me.
You should know that I think I kind of knew. I think I’ve kind of known for a long time, maybe since I heard my name on that tape. Way back then, but I didn’t want to know know it. It seems impossible, the idea of leaving you and Adam and Jane behind, or more like you all leaving me behind.
The thing is, Ronan, now it’s okay. You aren’t alone without me. You can choose for yourself, even if you don’t want to. It’s just easier to let someone else choose, just like it’s easier to be angry.
You aren’t the same person that I met back before everything. But I wouldn’t trade you, the Ronan Lynch of right now who’s probably pissed as hell at me for leaving, for that other Ronan Lynch. That’s not how it works. I understand now. Time goes, but it doesn’t go that way.
I asked you once to dream me a whole world of beautiful things, and I’m going to ask you that again. Dream beautiful things for me while I’m gone, Ronan, because I’m not really gone. I’ll never really be gone. Something’s always left behind. Don’t dream me, but dream big, wondrous things. Dream another Pig. Dream fireworks and a fast car. Wake up and feel and don’t be afraid. Most people have never had to face their nightmares half as literally as you.
Excelsior,
-RCG
[last but not least is noah’s.]
Noah,
If you’re reading this, I must be gone. Don’t disappear.
It’s a few days after Christmas as I write this, and you’re a ghost. Maybe you’re watching me write it, I can’t tell. It’s a bit chilly in here. I hope by the time you read it that you aren’t a ghost anymore. They need you, Noah. More than ever, if I’m gone.
You should know that I think I kind of knew. I think I’ve kind of known for a long time, maybe since I heard my name on that tape. Way back then, but I didn’t want to. You probably know that I knew, but it seems important to tell you anyway. To admit that you were telling me something I already knew, deep down, as though it was a secret. And I wanted to thank you for it. Knowing—really knowing—has made it easier. It’s going to be all right, no matter how it ends up. Adam will do everything he can, and if he can’t stop fate…that’s okay. I had so many more years than I could have, more years than I probably deserved. I can say that to you because they were yours.
I hope I didn’t waste them.
The things I said to you, and the things I didn’t say? They’re all true. Maybe we won’t remember when we go home, but here and now, they’re real and true. Don’t forget that.
Be brave, Noah. Be human. You think they don’t need you but you’re wrong. You’re important, so very important. None of us could ever have been friends without you. You made us possible. Don’t forget that either.
If you see Jane, though I hope you don’t, give her a kiss for me.
Excelsior,
-RCG
Adam,
If you are reading this, I suspect that either a) I’ve disappeared, or b) you are a terrible, wretched snoop. If it’s the latter, shame on you! But now that you’ve started reading, you may as well continue.
It’s a few days after Christmas, as I write this, or at least the day we all seemed to think was Christmas. That isn’t what’s important here. There are things you should know, things I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to tell you because we’re just not good at this.
I think I kind of knew. I think I’ve kind of known for a long time, maybe since I heard my name on that tape. Way back then. But I didn’t want to believe it. Who would? I wasn’t ready to believe it. But now, it’s easier. Knowing that you’ll do everything you can to save me, it can be the year I’m fated to die. If anyone can defy fate, it’s you, Adam.
There’s another thing you need to understand, but i can’t say if reading these words will help. You like to say that I don’t know the value of things, and perhaps you’re right. But i do know this: you’re invaluable. You, Adam Parrish, are beyond price, and there is nothing I would trade you for. So try and treat yourself that way sometimes, too. Believe that other people value you, if you can’t value yourself.
Don’t tell Ronan about the gun. Unless you already did, in which case I suppose we all survived.
Excelsior,
-RCG
PS- Give the others their letters too, would you please? Don’t read them.
[the next piece of folded paper has roman’s name on it]
Ronan,
If you’re reading this, I must be gone. Don’t be mad at Adam, he’s just the messenger.
I’m sorry. I would have taken you with me if there was a choice in these things. I would have taken you all with me.
You should know that I think I kind of knew. I think I’ve kind of known for a long time, maybe since I heard my name on that tape. Way back then, but I didn’t want to know know it. It seems impossible, the idea of leaving you and Adam and Jane behind, or more like you all leaving me behind.
The thing is, Ronan, now it’s okay. You aren’t alone without me. You can choose for yourself, even if you don’t want to. It’s just easier to let someone else choose, just like it’s easier to be angry.
You aren’t the same person that I met back before everything. But I wouldn’t trade you, the Ronan Lynch of right now who’s probably pissed as hell at me for leaving, for that other Ronan Lynch. That’s not how it works. I understand now. Time goes, but it doesn’t go that way.
I asked you once to dream me a whole world of beautiful things, and I’m going to ask you that again. Dream beautiful things for me while I’m gone, Ronan, because I’m not really gone. I’ll never really be gone. Something’s always left behind. Don’t dream me, but dream big, wondrous things. Dream another Pig. Dream fireworks and a fast car. Wake up and feel and don’t be afraid. Most people have never had to face their nightmares half as literally as you.
Excelsior,
-RCG
[last but not least is noah’s.]
Noah,
If you’re reading this, I must be gone. Don’t disappear.
It’s a few days after Christmas as I write this, and you’re a ghost. Maybe you’re watching me write it, I can’t tell. It’s a bit chilly in here. I hope by the time you read it that you aren’t a ghost anymore. They need you, Noah. More than ever, if I’m gone.
You should know that I think I kind of knew. I think I’ve kind of known for a long time, maybe since I heard my name on that tape. Way back then, but I didn’t want to. You probably know that I knew, but it seems important to tell you anyway. To admit that you were telling me something I already knew, deep down, as though it was a secret. And I wanted to thank you for it. Knowing—really knowing—has made it easier. It’s going to be all right, no matter how it ends up. Adam will do everything he can, and if he can’t stop fate…that’s okay. I had so many more years than I could have, more years than I probably deserved. I can say that to you because they were yours.
I hope I didn’t waste them.
The things I said to you, and the things I didn’t say? They’re all true. Maybe we won’t remember when we go home, but here and now, they’re real and true. Don’t forget that.
Be brave, Noah. Be human. You think they don’t need you but you’re wrong. You’re important, so very important. None of us could ever have been friends without you. You made us possible. Don’t forget that either.
If you see Jane, though I hope you don’t, give her a kiss for me.
Excelsior,
-RCG
[gansey practically leaps off the train when they can finally disembark, his heart pounding with excitement and fear. of course, just about everyone else is doing the exact same thing, which goes a way to thwart his ability to find his friends. other people who are obviously familiar with each other mill around the cars, so gansey finally moves a bit away from them, and then goes about things the very old fashioned way.
shouting.
at least that distinctive tone of his carries.]
Ronan! Parrish! Noah! Over here!
shouting.
at least that distinctive tone of his carries.]
Ronan! Parrish! Noah! Over here!
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Jun. 1st, 2015 01:30 pm...
If necessary, you may also leave messages for Ronan Lynch, who can rarely be bothered to answer his own phone.
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